The fiasco on new year's eve was so insane to me. I walked back from the lab to my car which was parked in a shopping plaza. It was acting up, so my husband came out to see if he could drive it home. With smoke coming out the hood I was too afraid! Although I had talked to God on my walk back and decided to stop trying for awhile, I was annoyed. The day was a failure, then the car was acting up. What next?
My husband drove ahead of me. I drove around slowly just contemplating the events of the day. It was New Year's Eve and I was gonna forget about everything! So I stopped at the liquor store and boought a bottle of vodka to mix some drinks later on. I'm not really a drinker but I wanted to escape that night. As I traveled back towards my home, there was a lot of traffic. I proceeded to go down a different street to take an alternate route. I kinda glanced once more at the traffic and notice a familiar car stuck in the turning lane. It was my husband! I drove over there and parked. I could see the frustration all over his face as I walked over to him. The car was running hot and stopped altogether, now the car was stuck in the street. After what seemed forever, after so many onlookers passed us by, a few good men offered to help push the car to the side into a lot. It worked and we drove home. I had it! Later that eve we went to my brother in law's house to celebrate the events. He made me two cranberry and vodkas, and I eagerly drank them, awaiting my departure from what I believed was my sad reality. I remember bits and pieces about what came after. The memories are not pleasant. I was sooooooooooo sick. I woke up the next morning terribly sick, having to get advice from my 19 year old cousin who is in college (hint hint) about how to deal with a hangover. It was the absolute worst.
About a month later I decided to try out a new Ob/Gyn. I wanted to do some fertility testing, again, and had taken a little break. I was ready to just test and see if I had any problems, but this time without all the self pressure. I just wanted to know if there was anything wrong and I was prepared to find out. It was February 5, 2011. I went to the Dr. office and was taken back to do some preliminaries. The medical assistant asked me when my last period was and I told her December 29, 2010 (remember that awful one I spoke about it my last post!?). She asked me did I want a pg test and I said no. I told her my period comes really late at times and I don't feel like going through that whole thing. She repected my wishes and took me into an office. I met with the Dr. who was great and sat with me for about an hour asking me all about my reproductive life. I felt so secure with this new physician, he seemed to be attentive and quickly came up with a plan. He wanted me to take this medication to bring on my period so I could finally take the FSH test to check if I was ovulating. I could take the medicine in a couple of days if my period didn't come. I agreed to his plan and left. On the way home I called my husband and told him of the wonderful visit I had. I told him all about the plan and asked him should I get the medicine right then or wait. He told me to come home and talk about everything first and then we could get the meds in a few days. I agreed and went home.
It was my usual routine once home to get ready to cook dinner, lounge, watch a little tv. I did just that. My hubby was at the computer, and on the phone. I snuck into the bathroom, eager to take a pg test so I could hurry up and get this medicine to start my testing. I mean I was still cool about things, but still I wanted to get this show on the road. I had one pg test left in the bathroom closet from a few months before. I pulled it out and did the usual. This time, I actually waited before I went looking at it. Before I would stare as soon as I put it down and imagine the positive line. This time I looked in the mirror, played in my hair, looked in my nose, etc. lol. I knew the drill. I was sure of the negative sign popping up. A few minutes went by and I looked down. My heart began to pound and flutter. My breathing got a little shallow. My eyes did not believe. It was positive. It hadn't hit me. I looked at it for what seemed like eternity. It was positive? OMG IT'S POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I yelled to my husband that I needed to talk to him now. He got off the phone and I went and showed him the test. He too was slow to react. He did not believe. We were both in a form of denial, mine a little less than his, but still we didn't want to accept it because we were afraid. All of the months of disappoinment make you fearful that this is yet another false alarm. He insisted we go to the store and get another test to be sure. After all I did have that test in the bathroom for a few months. It could've went bad! So we went to the store and got a different brand. That was positive too. For me at that point it was real and unbelieveable. For my hubby, eh, well he was still in denial. He wanted confirmation from a medical facility. Well since it was the weekend coming up, we would have to wait all the way til Monday to see if we could get an appt. I found a free clinic to go to on Saturday. They said they take walk-ins but only on the contigency that the person who had an appt. didn't come in, after a 15 minute grace period. Well since they were booked I decided to take a chance and go as a walk-in. Part 3 will be up soon!
